When I tell people things privately

Firstly, bringing up mcclintic, whom I am making no opinion on at the time of this comment, is a straw man argument. You are claiming that since a healing lodge was not appropriate in what is arguably the most egregious of cases, it is thus not appropriate for violent crimes broadly. That is not what I am arguing as I am speaking to your original comment which spoke about healing lodges as a whole.

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